Making a Statment.. from a soap box.
A few weeks ago, on my favourite blog, it was mentioned that it was National Infertility Awareness Week (in the US) and she asked the question: What are you doing to raise awareness of infertility?
Despite my original comment (that i was intending on using all my negative HPT's as an embellishment on my home-made Christmas cards) I do nothing to raise awareness. This is something I hope to change.
I'm not going to go downtown and stand on a soap box with a picture of my ovaries, but I do want to do something more that I have been. I talk to my family and friends, and I am pretty open to people about our difficulty. I have bought items in support of PCOS research, wear a pin and have a fancy magnet slapped to the back of my car. But what is this really doing to raise awareness? Nothing unless someone is interested in Googling what it means.
The problem is, no one really cares about infertility unless it is happening to them. It is a highly personal problem. I frequent a few sites for women TTC and have seen so much competitiveness and animosity. Women trying for their first are jealous of couple trying for their second, often spurting the painful phrase "At least you have one". Women trying for their second are usually TTC veterans, often having had trouble with the first one as well. The common thread is it hurts the same for everyone. There is no rating system for emotional pain. Trying for my first was heartbreaking. Month after month (24 of them!) of nothing. This time it hurts the same, because I know what I am missing this time. There is no glorified image of a silent baby, a well rested mom with a feast on the table to entertain the 15 unexpected guests. I know the ups and downs and I miss it. As Bug gets older I remember more and more of the tiny human he was.
But if I had been able to conceive easily, would I care so much? Would I notice so much that every year that passes the less fertile I am becoming? I think my point here is: if I was fertile would I care about infertiles?
I would love to say I would but other than myself, I don't know anyone actively TTC that is an infertile. I have a friend that also has PCOS, and when her time comes to have a baby I am going to give her all the support that I wish I had had when we tried for Bug. Because even the most well meaning fertile people don't really understand. So how do we help them?
I think it is important to be vocal. Being infertile isn't about sex. When I first began telling people that we were trying for a baby, I often joked that I was subtly telling them that "We have a lot of sex." Because in the begining that is what makes a baby right? That's all you need.. normally.
Despite my original comment (that i was intending on using all my negative HPT's as an embellishment on my home-made Christmas cards) I do nothing to raise awareness. This is something I hope to change.
I'm not going to go downtown and stand on a soap box with a picture of my ovaries, but I do want to do something more that I have been. I talk to my family and friends, and I am pretty open to people about our difficulty. I have bought items in support of PCOS research, wear a pin and have a fancy magnet slapped to the back of my car. But what is this really doing to raise awareness? Nothing unless someone is interested in Googling what it means.
The problem is, no one really cares about infertility unless it is happening to them. It is a highly personal problem. I frequent a few sites for women TTC and have seen so much competitiveness and animosity. Women trying for their first are jealous of couple trying for their second, often spurting the painful phrase "At least you have one". Women trying for their second are usually TTC veterans, often having had trouble with the first one as well. The common thread is it hurts the same for everyone. There is no rating system for emotional pain. Trying for my first was heartbreaking. Month after month (24 of them!) of nothing. This time it hurts the same, because I know what I am missing this time. There is no glorified image of a silent baby, a well rested mom with a feast on the table to entertain the 15 unexpected guests. I know the ups and downs and I miss it. As Bug gets older I remember more and more of the tiny human he was.
But if I had been able to conceive easily, would I care so much? Would I notice so much that every year that passes the less fertile I am becoming? I think my point here is: if I was fertile would I care about infertiles?
I would love to say I would but other than myself, I don't know anyone actively TTC that is an infertile. I have a friend that also has PCOS, and when her time comes to have a baby I am going to give her all the support that I wish I had had when we tried for Bug. Because even the most well meaning fertile people don't really understand. So how do we help them?
I think it is important to be vocal. Being infertile isn't about sex. When I first began telling people that we were trying for a baby, I often joked that I was subtly telling them that "We have a lot of sex." Because in the begining that is what makes a baby right? That's all you need.. normally.
posted by Winter at
1:44 PM
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